With continuing bad luck, we had to wait for an hour at the domestic airport since our cab was waiting at the international airport. To fight the cold, we ended up shivering, with blankets tied around our heads and shoulders, looking exactly like the average rickshaw driver. The question could be: Why were we freezing at all? Isn’t it normal for us to have these or even lower temperatures in Europe? I can’t speak for Simon (although I think that there is not much difference between the winter in the UK and in Germany), but yes, we are used to these degrees! Nevertheless, I am feeling really cold in India right now. Actually I am freezing inside our house as well. Eating breakfast wrapped in a blanket, going to bed with two or more layers or sitting shivering in front of a electric heater is not an uncommon sight at the Kapoors Mansion. But why is it like this?

Right Now in Hamburg (My Family's House)

This Indian winter is quite the opposite of the one in Germany right now: Whereas here the temperature barely falls under 10 degrees, it almost never gets warmer than – (minus!) 5 degrees! Whilst Germany is covered under a thick layer of snow, here it is just a persisting layer of dust. But paradoxically I am sure back home in Hamburg I wouldn’t be as freezing as I am here. The difference is that we expect the winter to be as cold and fierce as it is right now throughout Europe. Our houses are built with thick insulation and equipped with central heating. Even if it’s very cold outside and you enter the house, most of the time it will already be warm or easy to heat up. In India, the cold time of the winter lasts only around January and the rest of the year it is mostly unbelievable hot. So the houses are built in a way to be comfortable during the hot season.

One Week Ago - Proper Winter in Hamburg

Take for an example the Kapoors; the walls and windows aren’t insulated and there is of course no central heating. So when you enter the Kapoors, it is as cold as outside and not very comforting. Another difference is that in Germany I would wear proper winter clothes. But when I packed my suitcase for going to India, the thick jackets and pullovers were the first things to go back in the closet. So all I have to wear is my light summer jacket that I can’t even close because my cast isn’t fitting (now I have a lighter one and it works). Luckily, some time ago, Simon and me bought gloves, scarves and winter hats for our trip to Nepal. I am always amazed when I see Indians wearing just Flip-Flops while I am shivering in my rickshaw on the way to work.

But luckily the heating-situation in our Mansion has improved during the last weeks: With the financial backing of our beloved company and our landlady, our favourite electrician/plumber Rishi installed a new inverter at Kapoors! So from now on we are able to use our heaters during a power cut! And so far the system is working perfectly (we have had enough opportunity to test the new system with an average of 4 power cuts per day).

Let’s hope it will stay like this and we will survive the next two weeks of the coldest season in Gurgaon. And that I don’t break my other arm……

I did not make it for myself, not even for my Kapoors family (although Alex got to try some). I made it for the electrician, who spent this morning at the Kapoors mansion fixing several long due repairs. I also treated him with some indian sweets and enjoyed nice small talk, with my few hindi words and his few english. We made friends.

It’s been a long lesson for me. After over a year of constant making mistakes, I have finally realized – or to be more accurate – I have been pushed by my coworkers into realizing, why I was failing so often to get things done.

Poland is now politically, mentally and culturally part of western Europe*. And the way we do things is fairly simple. It’s a business, and in business, there is no place for sentiments. If you call a worker – be it electrician, carpenter or plumber – you are a client, so you demand. You demend him to be there at the time and day convenient to you, you demand the work to be done quick, neatly and smoothly. Once he comes, he’s nearly a ghost at your home – doing whatever he has to do, while you’re doing your own things. You may offer him a tea or coffee or cookie, but its not compulsory. He comes there to do a job for which you are paying. And the payment will be heavy most of the time, cost of human labour is the most expansive thing in Europe. He comes, fixes whatever you require him to fix, handles the bill, you handle him cash and that’s it. Over. You probably won’t see each other for a year or so.

In India things work different way. Gas is delivered in cylinders instead of being piped. Hot water warms up in electric heaters / geysers instead of being piped. In residential areas like the one we stay in, we need to pump the water to our water storage tanks, as it comes only twice a day. In brief, the maintenance that is required in the house and the number of things that can possibly break is about ten times that of back home. So your plumber and electrician are practically your flatmates, coming every once in a while to fix one thing or the other.

And in India, especially when you deal with “simple” people, it’s not a business relation like the one I described before. For a minor fix, these workers would get maybe 50, maybe 100Rs. In Europe, it’s 5 times more for just giving a look at things. That’s why perks and personal relations are far more important.

When some time ago I was trying with no result to get a carpenter to fix someting in the house, I was told, that he doesn’t want to come anymore. He was scared and not interested. We were not speaking Hindi, we were demanding and we didn’t offer him anything but a glass of water. He had no interest coming again. Not a friendly chat, not a pleasure of sipping chai, not a small gift for him or his kids. And the job was small, so the money was not attractive enough. He would rather go where the jobs are bigger and hence – better paid. Or where he is friends with the owner (or houshelp) and could count on a nice reception. And he won’t adjust his timing for us, as in India in most houses there is someone all the time – a house wife or a house help. So they can’t understand why we ask them to come in the evening or weekend. They don’t work such hours!

I was also straight forwardly told, that we should keep our workers happy. If there’s festive season – we should give them some small gift, maybe some sweets or toys for kids, or maybe a bottle of Old Monk for themselves. And we shoud act politely with them. If they’re happy – they might even fix something for free for us. If their not – they simply won’t come.

I think this is maybe one of the most important lessons I’ve learned here. Building relationships. Here everything is personal and everything is “human”. Automitization is not a big thing yet in India. Human labor is cheaper. So whatever can be done manually – is done manually. And whenever you want to achieve something, you have to deal with real people. And make them feel you care, so they would care as well.

The only thing I’m wondering about, is if and how it applies to the corporate level business in India? I hope my colleagues could advise me on this?

* – is, but it wasn’t always like this. I was too small to get used to it, but still remember times of my childhood, the end of communism and beginning of transition to a free market economy, times we call “Polish wild wild west”, when all import was smuggled, dollar black market was blossoming, power and water cuts were maybe no daily, but a weekly rituals and none business could be done without a flask of polish vodka involved (either meaning doing business over a glass of Wyborowa, or giving it as a gift when it wasn’t appropriate to open it straight away). Or other kind of favor. Some flashbacks of this mentality still happen from time to time, but they are definitely relics.

This post has been published also on my private blog Same Same But Different

It’s a warm, sunny November Thursday, Thanksgiving Thursday to be exact. Yes, in Gurgaon, India you are able to walk around in November with just a t-shirt and jeans on.  Weird…I never thought I would be celebrating Thanksgiving in India. Besides this day being a symbol of thanks shared by family and friends, it also marks another symbol that brought me back to reality:  just one month until I board the flight home to the U.S.  As I find myself speeding through my fifth month in India, I begin to dig through all of the biryani, pollution, colors, and Bollywood tunes that seem to never leave my head (thanks to Shaista and all of the Hindi music she passed onto me )

Actually, if we go all the way back to May, you will find that I was almost about to book my trip to Thailand for a whole year to do a marketing internship in Bangkok. Why did I choose India? Was it because I just couldn’t get enough of the Indian take-out from the India Palace Restaurant down the street from my apartment in the U.S. that is always crowded by university students? Was it because I wanted to learn more about the world of yoga, Bollywood, or discover a brand new Safiye?  Was it because I wanted to come across people, who, like me, achieve their happiest state by uncovering new cultures, people and getting themselves into uneasy situations? I could go on and on about my encounters with the Monks in Dharamsala, the ten hours on the back of Phalgun’s bike to make it in time for the Pushkar Camel Fair where I got to try camel milk ice-cream, or the experience of getting wrapped in a royal blue saree for a friend’s wedding in Goa.  Honestly, everything I have mentioned above only encompasses just 2/3rds of my experience in India: The Eat and Travel. Ok, so obviously I didn’t travel thousands of miles to just to eat and travel (although I’m not complaining-bring on the butter chicken, gol gappa and 15 hours local bus trips!) The main reason I chose India was because of…WORK!                                                                                                                

One must be living under a rock if they aren’t aware of just how fast India is growing and all of the opportunities stemming from it.  If you look past all of the chaos, corruption and an unfamiliar business culture you will encounter, you can’t help but notice that India has one of the fastest growing economies, the second fastest growing market in Asia, to be exact. As a student of marketing, management and international business, I couldn’t bare the thought of passing up the opportunity to immerse myself into the business culture of India by performing a six month internship before I graduate next May. In such a complex country crowded with over billion people, you must take into account caste, religion, language and regionalism when engaging in any type of business deal. What else is so great about doing business in India?  Besides the fact that its economy has been booming for the past few years, it has a prosperous outlook for the future.  Its entrepreneurial “spirit” of its people, along with increasingly liberal foreign policies and numerous multi-national firms, make it more attractive by each day. Ok, so I’m not writing this blog to lecture my audience, that’s left up to the professors and specialists.  It’s just that I can’t find myself writing a blog about my professional experience without speaking of just how important India is for the future of the business world.

So…you must be wondering about my first-hand experiences when it comes to my work experience within Technopak. Have I embarrassed myself because of my lack of education when it comes to the acceptable cultural norms that underlay business in India? Yes. Have I learned how to greet another employee or client without embarrassing him or her? Yes (with practice, however.) Have I said all of the wrong things at a meeting, but then try to regain my credibility? Yes. I mean, come on! Isn’t this why I’m here in the first place?? Someone that isn’t willing to come out of their shell and put themselves in uneasy situations wouldn’t be in India in the first place.

I see Technopak as a company with a fairly open culture. Open in a sense that invites in new and creative ideas.  Unlike the rows and rows of cubicles you see in movies such as Office Space, there is an “open-door” atmosphere that allows me to address my boss and colleagues on a personal level, rather than through endless emails.  It’s also interesting to find that individuals within the same vertical don’t necessarily have to sit with members of their own vertical, which, in turn, invites intra-vertical communication.  I’m not shy to admit that although I never forget a face, I can never seem to remember half of the names of the people I have met! I have had the chance to meet unique colleagues from all over India with incredible international experiences.  For example, I had the chance to interview Luv Jasuja, a principal consultant who not only spent six years in the UK, two years in France, and one year in Holland, but was also purchasing manager for a leading apparel manufacturer based in the UAE.

There are silly little aspects of the company that I’m going to miss:  The stupid vending machine filled with tasty India snacks that always seems to get stuck, or the T.V. which always is set on cricket, or the cute older man that comes around every morning, collecting my lunch money while wishing me a “good morning ma’am.” Also, I enjoy getting the “who the heck is this girl and what is she doing” looks from the chai and maintenance employees.  My colleagues and flat mates Simon, Alex and Jacek are really great. Even though we spend everyday and night together, we really seem to get along. Ok, let’s not get emotional!  That can be left for the next blog entry…just make sure to be prepared with plenty of tissues at hand.

I don’t imagine back in the states I would or will ever be able to take off with Simon, Jacek, Alex, Phalgun and others on the back of a bike to Pushkar for the camel fair, returning at 3:30 in the morning, and then dragging ourselves into work after minimal sleep. Even though we were exhausted, we had shared a truly amazing experience and were still experiencing a great level of hype from our travels.  Then there was the company picnic we had last Saturday. I couldn’t have asked for a better time.  Not only did I have my bosses run me around the tennis court, but also had the chance to witness other talents on display-artwork, singing, dancing and teamwork, as well as have the opportunity to win great prizes such as free trips, flight tickets and meal coupons (a big thanks to Nikhil and those who helped.) It wasn’t one of the company/family picnics with awkward silence and interaction games that everyone dreads going to. On the contrary, It was a chance for everyone to engage with other employees within all of the verticals, along with families, as we all worked through different integration games, quizzes, and then feasted on an amazing Indian and Chinese buffet. Of course there wouldn’t be a picnic in all of India without cricket!

HEY! WAKE UP! Before I get too carried away, let me quit while I’m ahead.  I’m often told by my lovely flat mates and colleagues that I tend to talk too much and “speak out loud” a little too often. I guess I am using this chance to pour out everything kept inside to keep peace with them.  See, when you’re a foreigner in India, whether you are a student or intern, you always have countless experiences and stories to tell.

Whether it is the Eat, Travel, or Work aspect of my experience here in India, I will for sure be boring my friends for hours on end back in the U.S. when I bring up the time I was in ankle-deep water after the Kapoors flooded last week because of an unexpected storm-maybe it was the hole in my floor, or maybe it was some other mysterious leak, or about the time random rickshaw driver somehow managed to confess his love to me in the few English words that he knew… Like I said in my previous posts-never ever a dull moment in India…

Until Next Time,

Sista Safiye Kapoor

The differences are continuing at the office: It is hard for me to remember the names of my co-workers, not because I am bad at memorizing names, but because I never heard these names before and most of the times have no clue how to spell them. Another new thing for me is the man who is always collecting empty glasses and cups. You will not find that job in any German company.

Therefore, the company picnic was a good way to get to know the company and my co-workers (and their names). In fact, it was a really good event even though my team did not win in the end. But I was introduced to the game of Cricket and tried it for some time. That is another experience quite new for me because Cricket is totally unknown in Germany. No one plays it and I guess very few actually know that Cricket exists. But it looked like fun except that I was told a game could last the whole day. In Germany, the one and only sport is soccer. You will find no village even it has as little as 1000 residents that does not have an own soccer team. There is not a boy in Germany who has never partaken in some sort of soccer team at at least one point in his life. The second most popular sport is handball. But the gap between soccer and handball is so enormous that you can find people everywhere who do not know the rules or any name of a national team member. The love for soccer goes so far that you can register your child for a soccer club at birth or you can be buried next to the stadium of your favorite team. Unfortunately, games between rival clubs always require the presence of an army of police troops to prevent unrest. I would like to know whether Cricket has a similar effect on Indian people.

Another difference to German life I found out at the company picnic was rather surprising: people start to work at a much earlier age than in Germany! In Germany you almost find no one finishing university and starting to work at age 21 or 22. (I understand of course that that is only possible with bachelor’s degree). So, being 24 years old and without a university degree, I am really feeling old in this company. I was almost 20 when I finished high school. But fortunately that is not my fault but the German government’s. Until last year we had an education system that required 13 years of school (4 years primary and 9 years high school) to get the qualification to study at a university. And in university the minimum amount of time was 5 years to get a “Diplom” (equivalent to a Master degree) without any degree in between. The new system requires only 12 years of school and they have introduced the Bachelor/Master system. So you are now able to finish school at 18 and earn a bachelor degree at 21. But since I started in the end of 2005 I am in the last year of a “Diplom” course. But that is no reason to worry because the average age to start working with a “Diplom” is 25.

These are my impressions of working in India for an Indian company so far. But I am looking forward to find out more differences!

I come from Poland, but have been in India for over a year already.  I Joined Technopak as a trainee in July 2008 and went through all of what they are experiencing and even more. I’ve spent time in offices in Gurgaon and Bangalore, shifted places 7 times for different reasons (but have never been kicked out!), and sharing them with a dozen of multinationals from all over the globe.

Recently I’ve joined Technopak as an employee and part of my job description is to take care of international internship program – I’m the one who’s guiding new trainees through the entire process of coming to India and settling here.  I was also the founding member (along with Safiye) of the  “The Kapoors Mansion” where I live as well, hence spending nearly 24 hours a day with “The Kapoors Family”. As the eldest and most experienced in India – I’m also responsible for managing most of the house issues.

All of that led to my new nickname – Daddy Kapoor. (Sometimes it really feels odd when Safiye calls me “Daddy” in the office or during a party…)

And being a Daddy for my Indian family is a management task that I should definitely point out in my CV!

What it takes to manage a group of young people, representing 6 countries (Poland, USA, UK, Germany, France and Morocco) and two religions (Catholics and Muslims) for some of whom living in India is a first experience of independency – managing with own money, taking care of house and so on…  They all have their work problems, heart issues, different – sometimes colliding needs and habits. If taken under consideration also cultural differences (i.e. reflected in what we can and what we can’t cook for our family dinners or the way we convey some messages not to offend anyone) – it’s a really educating experience.

But house “stakeholders” are not only its inhabitants. On many matters, we need to maintain good relations with neighbours and all sorts of service providers (which are lots more than back in our homecountries.)

To add to it, the house that we moved into turned out to be a little bit worn out. Beyond a really nicely and cozy appearance there were tons of minor and major issues that required desperate attention. Starting with some plumber or electrician works, through serious power back up issues, which made us indepthly study the issue of power shortages in the state of Haryana (for example we learened that power shortages are more often in summers when the ACs are on, and in the evening when everybody comes back home to watch T.V. and cook…).

Even basic maintenance and daily existence is a new experience for us – stove supplied with gas not from a direct pipe, but a big cylinder, with water supplies twice a day (needs to be pumped into our water storage tanks), with a top load semi-automatic washing machine – probably sort of what our mothers and grandmothers dealt with, with water heaters in bathrooms to have hot shower, with water filters – as tap water is not drinkable. And finally – to top it off – a maid, who comes every morning and helps us to keep our house in a reasonable state.  All of these are new for us, accustomed to comforts coming rather through life facilitating, top notch technology of our home appliances, to a cheap labour force that does it all manually. Best proof of it is the fact, that even our two English native speakers – Simon and Safiye – have enriched their vocabulary with few words or phrases not used ever before. Like “geyser”.

Spice it up with a need to coordinate between company’s administration department, landlord and broker to deal with those issues. And put a cherry on a pie – conversations with Punam – our house maid – in her very basic broken English and our very basic broken Hindi. It always ends up with her smiling and shaking her head saying “Ok ok”, and we never know whether we’ve been understood or not.

The entire experience is sometimes frustrating, sometimes exhausting, but with no doubts – very enriching and deeply satisfactory after all. Our daily struggle has made us nearly a real family – we’re solving problems together, have our own “family” traditions (like Monday family dinner) and recently – even do “family shopping”. And I’m sure these bonds will last much longer than just our Indian Experience.

And I’m sure Safiye – whenever she is confused about anything – will always ask herself the same question: “What would Daddy Kapoor say about it?”

It seems as if I and most everyone around me has been on this elevated high for the past week or so-maybe it’s the increased amount of sugar in our systems from the endless Diwali sweets, or our elevated blood pressure because we are not sure when some random kid is going to sneak behind us as we are walking through U-Block and then light a firecracker beneath us, or maybe it’s just positive energy in the air resulting from mutual feelings everyone possesses towards this celebration of lights. Whatever has been happening, the verdict is in: In almost all of its aspects, Diwali beats out most other holidays in my book. It’s the only holiday that I have partaken in that combines aspects of the Fourth of July, Christmas and New Years into one package. Even President Obama was feeling the spirit as he lit the Diwali Candle in the White House for the first time ever. There were moments where I saw my life flash before my eyes as one of the firecrackers decided to have a mind of its own and then end up missing us and leaping into the neighbors’ balcony with an extravagant finale, but then there were moments when my eyes were watering as I joined in with Shaista’s entire family on the floor as they sang the prayer in unison. Thanks to Jacek and his talent with photography, he was able to capture all of the perfect moments throughout the night.

Although I’ve travelled at most opportunities, experienced frequent highs and lows throughout my experience, and met countless characters, it seemed one thing had truly been missing: I never really had a close encounter with a family in India or had the opportunity to engage in a traditional holiday ceremony. How can one complain when we were offered sweets before, during and after dinner, and then if the entire experience wasn’t enough, we were offered gifts from the family? Everything was going smoothly until Simon, Jacek and I tried our luck at Flash for the first time. It turns out we need to partake in a few more card parties before we can stand the competition to avoid coming home with our tails between our legs.

I always believed that Turkey portrayed one of the most “misafirperver” (guest friendly) cultures, but after this weekend and the past week, I have decided that India is a major competitor. Technopak knows what they are doing when it comes to Diwali. After doing a survey across all of the companies that my friends are working for, I’ve come to a conclusion that Technopak wins by a stretch. I was given the chance to try “street food” prepared in our company without worries as to what position I would find myself in the following evening after former incidents of eating gol gappas, was able to discover hidden talents within colleagues, and got to show my true personality. Even though there were moments of awkward silence as interns were put on the spot, I really felt like I had the chance to open up while getting to know other faces of Technopak. This reiterates the warm culture within Technopak that promotes a “thinking outside of the box” atmosphere with a great ease of communication possible between all positions and levels.

Fireworks with a mind of their own

A large aspect of Diwali is how the people are celebrating this festival of lights by letting off fireworks. From my perspective, fireworks seem to be a sensitive subject due to the working conditions at the warehouses and factories due to lax of industrial safety standards. Furthermore, negative effects also include the carbon footprint left behind and noise pollution. Whatever degree of opposition there maybe around the setting off of fireworks, however, I believe Diwali was a day to be celebrated by the people in the manner they choose, and no one was ready to put a damper on such a gorgeous day. I, personally, was like a little kid again as I scampered away after lightening a rocket that had a 50% chance of blowing up prematurely, in the opposite direction as intended, or sit silent to ever increase our anticipation.

Latest Updates at the Kapoors

It’s now back to reality, and I think we are all a little down after being on such a Diwali high.
Punam, our cleaning lady, has turned out to be a multi-tasking young lady. She cleans with a baby on her back, is learning English, and always manages to smile. Even though she says “OK” when she doesn’t know what the heck we are talking about, there is some comfort within this “OK.” I have to be careful not to get too used to the spoils of having a cleaning lady, however, because before I know it I will be back in the U.S. cleaning my own dishes and apartment once again.

When it comes to travel updates, we are all venturing to Pushkar this weekend via bike and car to witness the thousands of camels, lively colors, farmers, traders and villagers composing of this great traditional melas. It takes a lot for me to turn down a good costume party, but this is a once in a lifetime experience for me. I will then take a 360 degree turn and head off to Goa next week to partake in a wedding. From what I’ve heard, nothing other than extravagant sarees should be worn to a Goan wedding; something I will need to work on if I don’t want to embarrass my friends and me.

Words of Wisdom for the newest Kapoor, Alex:

Willkommen Alex!!!!!

-Never say no to any opportunity that comes your way
-If you are paid in rupees, think in rupees!!
-Be open-minded; try to not look for you own culture, but discover others
-Travel at EVERY opportunity that comes your way-we all know you are not in
India just to work
-After training your stomach, explore the different cuisines throughout India
-Learn enough Hindi to communicate with the rickshaw drivers, or even
impress the taxi drivers-you will get ripped off!!
-Say yes to all events going on, if possible
-Almost nothing ever ever starts on time
-Oh, did I mention traveling?
-Try to look on the bright side of everything in India, because if you stress your self out with some details such as power outages at night when you are in the middle of a shower, the endless waits for the plumber who was supposed to show up and never did, or the cab driver that is always trying to squeeze more money out of you, you will miss out on the more important aspects of life in India
-It’s perfectly normal if you are overwhelmed or scared by the unique personalities occupying the Kapoor House-it even took Simon sometime to adjust to us

Just two months remain of my India experience, and as I plan out my last semester of the University and apply for numerous jobs, I wonder if I will ever find myself living in India again, because I feel that six months just doesn’t cut it for discovering what India has to offer. With this economic recession still lingering, who knows where one may end up…

Until Next Time,
Sista-stressed-about-the-future-but-content-with-life-Kapoor

India – where cows are sacred and fakirs are sitting on nails…..

But when I think of India, I have also the great buildings like the Taj Mahal and Hawa Mahal in mind. I am thinking of Mahatma Gandhis fight against the British sovereignty, of the many different ethnic groups, of the Tata Nano and of the great landscapes India has to offer. Although these are all images I have got from movies, documentaries or books, I know a lot of people who visited India and described it as one of the loveliest countries in the world and thereby encouraged my desire to go India.

So, now I am sitting here, totally nervous and anxious and wondering what India has in store for me. There are quite a few things I am anxious about. Will my English suffice? Will my stomach get used to the food? Will my body stand the noise in the city? Will I get along with the Indian culture and people?

So far about my greatest fears, but some of them are my greatest expectations as well. I am very eager to learn about the Indian culture and especially the Hindu religion. I am excited to get to know every inch of the Indian cuisine. I am motivated to work in a multiethnic and multilingual environment.

That should be all for now, can’t wait to see you next week!

This evening myself and Jacek took it upon ourselves to solve another crisis that has arisen in our house lately. Since the gas is not piped here, but stored in large cylinders, it needs replacing every now and again or you are left with no stove to cook on. This has been the case for several days now, after the gas ran out in the middle of cooking a celebratory meal for the Diwali festival. So, with a 15kg empty gas cylinder wrapped in a bedsheet on my lap, I rode on the pillion of Jacek’s bike to the landlord’s house in Phase II. We took the usual shortcut, across the middle of the road into oncoming traffic and a few yards along the wrong side of the highway. Needless to say the landlord was obliging and even offered a cup of chai, before making the trip back with a full gas cylinder on the pillion. If I am not Indian now, I never will be.

There are a few other T.I.I. moments I would like to share with you. I remember a while back, my first month here, relaxing at home on the sofa with a good book. I became aware of an itch on my neck and I go to scratch it, but am unable to alleviate it. Without warning it begins to hurt, so I ask my house mates, “what is up with my neck?” Gasps of cussing in their alarm, in turns out a giant ant has embedded itself in my neck. I say giant because it was three to four times the size of the ants I am accustomed to in the UK.

I’ve always wondered if the countless weedy security guards that parade the entrances of offices and food complexes have any purpose beyond appearances. Once, on the way to work, a guard was perched on the pavement with his gun pointed toward the sky resting between his knees. Curious, we glanced over to get a closer look at the weapon, only to find that the end was stuffed with cotton wool. We laughed, and when the guard realised the source of our amusement, he laughed with us.

Another bizarre sight that takes a while to get used to is the numerous cows that roam free in the street due to their status in Indian culture as sacred animals. Once, on my walk home from work, I rounded the corner to our house and there was herd of eight or nine cows and bulls, walking in single file down the road. The hilarious thing is, they have no owner or herder. They were just hanging out, as they do, with some sort of mutual purpose since they seemed to be going somewhere.

Another day, I caught a rickshaw home with Safiye and we got off at the top of our road to avoid engaging in the inevitable confrontation over price with the rickshaw driver, in view of our house (Jacek’s window was recently broken, I think by a disgruntled rickshaw driver). Anyway, upon rounding the corner we suddenly met with the savage sound of a pack of wild dogs in the distance. They were barking ferociously and although not yet in sight, it sounded like they were running in our direction. Be sure of one thing, we didn’t hang around to see what was happening.

One of the strangest nights I had was during one weekend when the girls were away traveling and Jacek was back in Poland. I had just returned from a night and was home alone, which is never a desirable thing. If you’ve been to our house you will know that we suffer from frequent power outages and water shortages, so that very often when our friends come round they find us huddled around the dining table in candle light, exhausted and thirsty with no drinking water or means of showering. Added to this the strange noises at night, from the cat jumping on the roof or the upstairs neighbors dragging their chairs along the floor. On this particular night I came home to an empty house with no electricity. There were eerie noises coming from the whistle blowing of the security guards and who-knows-what animal in the back yard. I lit a candle to find my way to my room, only to discover a splattered trail of blood, leading from the backdoor through the kitchen and dining room. It was equivalent to a scene from a horror movie.

Needless to say, we figure that the source of the blood must have been the cat, which frequents our house on a daily basis when we forget to close the back door. On the subject of the cat, it recently got itself stuck on top of the geyser in Safiye’s room, and we were forced to live with constant meowing for a couple of days. Turns out that it fell four floors from the rooftop, with no means of escape. After a failed attempt with our neighbor to lure the cat into a bucket lowered down on a piece of string, I think the neighbor must have called someone to resolve the problem. Because the following day the cat was back in the house, gazing at me with its piercing eyes, hoping that I would relent and sacrifice some food. I never do.

There are many other T.I.I incidents that I can recount, such as the time I nearly fell into a six foot hole in the middle of a zebra crossing, because you have to run to get across the road at rush hour and at night there are no street lights. Don’t ask me why there was a six foot hole in the middle of a zebra crossing, but the rickshaw drivers perched on the side of the road were astute enough to give a warning shout before it was too late. I had just come from a session at the gym, during which I recall lying on the bench mid-exercise watching a family of rats fighting in the air vent above me.

Another thing that astounds me is the marketing strategy of the local optician. Whenever I go to the market, I always walk past this place and my eyes are naturally drawn to the poster on the shop front. The graphic displayed on the poster is deliberately distorted and out of focus so that when you look at it you immediately become paranoid that your sight has deteriorated and, since you are standing outside an optician, feel compelled to call in and book an appointment.

Last week, on the day we celebrated Diwali festival at the office, I shared a rickshaw with Safiye to work. We were dressed in traditional attire for the occasion, which was novel in itself. But then the rickshaw punctured a tire, and we were forced to walk to the office dressed in kurtas. It must have been a sight, judging by the glances we got from passers by. Later that evening, I walked into the gym in my traditional wear. Head down, I was trying to avoid eye contact with my workout buddies, who thought I looked hilarious. Then my trainer walks into the changing room, takes one look at me and says “nice dress Mr Simon.” I guess I should’ve thought through the whole traditional-wear-to-work thing a bit more.

Then at the weekend, I answered the door to an Indian transvestite. A man dressed as a not-so-convincing traditional Indian lady. She was collecting money for something, I really don’t know what or why. But I didn’t have a clue what to say, I just stood there until a security guard from outside was so helpful as to move her on, sparking an argument between this weedy security man and an eccentric door collecting transvestite.

Later that day we had the privilege of sharing Diwali with a colleague and her extended family. They had prepared fire crackers for the occasion, as everyone seems to do here. The first fire cracker they got out was described to me, very aptly, as a bomb. I stood a few yards back, expecting a colorful display of dazzling fireworks, when all of a sudden there was a series of deafening bangs. I looked down at the floor and covered my ears whilst my legs were pelted with debris. Everyone else had long since retreated, I just stood there in utter shock and surprise. I should mention that Jacek, who was standing many yards behind me, got one in the face. He lived to tell the tale, and has a scar to prove it.

So I haven’t really done justice to the amazing weekend I shared with friends and colleagues celebrating the Diwali festival. It is bigger than Christmas here, and is more than worthy of a mention. But I shall leave that for another post, because this ones already kind of long. And I haven’t even mentioned the family of pigeons nesting in Jacek’s bathroom. But by now I think I’ve given you enough anecdotes to know, what I mean when I say; This Is India.

Wait, ek minat, did Christmas arrive prematurely this year???  Houses lined with lights, baskets full of junk food and candles that weigh almost as much as me, a three-day work week (while some make it a full week off,) and “suggested” ethnic attire for work…As I write this blog it’s only mandatory that I listen to colorful Hindi beats so I can better paint a picture for you all. Even though the holiday itself is just one day, just like any other holiday here in India, people seem to escape a couple days before and a couple days after, which, by the way, is OK for me because it makes dodging the traffic a little easier putting back a few more months on my life. Obviously it’s not Christmas, but Diwali-Festival of Lights. It’s the homecoming of Rama after a 14-year exile in the forest and his victory over (Google it.)  Well, whatever the story is behind this holiday, it allowed me to 1. Ask my cleaning lady for dressing advise as I jumped into my teal and gold kurta 2.  Decorate our flat with festive lights and munch on Oreos, creamy cheese, Pringles and olives on the same plate and 3.  Journey to Fabindia with Simon and Jacek to discover the perfect kurta to match their personalities.  It’s nice to know that Simon and I served as a little entertainment for those heading to work today as we crawled out of our cycle rickshaw wearing our traditional kurtas because the tire had popped; I don’t know if it was the looks of confusion, enjoyment, or anger, but it felt good to know that we had affected the lives of these people in some aspect…well, since Diwali isn’t officially for another two days, let me save the beginning of my next blog for what is to come this weekend. What is to come this weekend? Friday night we are having the first every “Kapoor Diwali Dinner” at U28. Jacek is going to tickle our taste buds with some delicious Polish food while I cook up some American-Turkish dishes. I’m sure Simon will hit the frying pan with some fish and chips and hopefully Yasmine and Yasmina prepare some surprises.  For Saturday, our colleague Shaista and her family have been brave enough to invite Simon, Jacek and myself over to celebrate Diwali with them. Let’s see if we can impress them with our Hindi, or at least try J More on Diwali later…be prepared, because I just may get sentimental.

“It’s India Ma’am; Everything  Possible”-one of the most famous rickshaw drivers in Jaipur, Mr. S

As the capital of Rajasthan State in India, and once the capital of royalty, it truly represents the Rajputs and Royal families. Just like most places in India, 2 days was not enough. I always seem to run out of time (which my bank account has no problem with J)

As my two India friends, Yasmine, our friend Jasmin and I were engaging in just another day of standard quarrelling with the rickshaw drivers about prices with some bahut ziada hai expressions involved, along came Mr. S (his name I won’t use.)  with “ 500 rupees only, the entire day, I take you anywhere and everywhere you want to go. I grew up in Jaipur, I’ve been here my entire life.” Ok, so where’s the catch? I mean, rs 100 a head (around $2.20) from sun up to sun down, anywhere we wanted to go, and he acts as a personal tour guide as well.  The catch: aside from the cultural aspects such as Isar Lat, City Palace, Wind Palace, Royal Gatore, Water Palace, Amber and Tiger Fort, for shopping he pretty much had control of where to take us.  Besides being the “Pink City,” Jaipur is famous for its jewelry and textiles.  As a favor in return for Mr. S’s hospitatliy, we agreed on doing our shopping at the factories and shops of his friends and family.  As a business major myself, I believe it’s a good trade. Besides, no matter where we did our shopping, all is same same but different right??? Furthermore, let’s just say it wasn’t a rickshaw meant for 5 people, but more like 3 or 4 Next time I go to Jaipur I plan on bringing all of my rupees, an empty bag, and a shopping mindset so that I come across something for each and every one of my friends and family.

The Cat that used 5 of its 9 lives in one fall

The other morning my good friend, who has never had any issues with the Kapoor Family House, asked me “so…when are you guys going to move again?” Yasmine, my flat mate with no hot water in her bathroom, hasn’t asked to use my shower in the past few days. We wake up to trash allll over kitchen as if a street dog had broken in our house. I frequently wake up to a colossal thud on top of my air conditioner unit outside my window.  We have suspicious drops of blood trailing from the backyard area into the house, and then finishing up in Jacek’s geyser closet.  Are you scared, confused, interested? THE CAT.  No, this isn’t just any cute, fluffy cat looking for some catnip.  This is the type of  who sneaks into our house at all hours, who doesn’t drink just any milk but asks for the finest cheese or eggs, who sometimes just stares at me for extended minutes as if she/he was trying to read my mind.  Let’s go jump back a few days ago: Let’s just say this cat met its match the other day when it had fallen 3 stories down a cement tunnel landing on top of the wire covering over my geyser with no way to escape. There is only one way out: UP.  For 2 days we didn’t really know what was going on. For hours on end we were being taken over by this MMMEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOWWWWWW MMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOWWWWWW, sometimes soft and sweet, but most of the time it was deathly.  At last, we arrived at the conclusion that the cat wasn’t just being annoying, but was calling for our help.  It was time for Simon and me to collaborate with our neighbor and his two sons to tie clotheslines together with a bucket at the end full of bread and milk. We didn’t succeed after several tries, but let’s just say as of last night the noises stopped and the mischievous cat is back in action; it won’t be long before it beings prancing around our house as if it owns the place, at the same time making me feel uncomfortable. If a three story fall and several days in prison with the filthy pigeons don’t teach an Indian cat its lesson, I don’t know what will!  It has four lives left and should use them wisely. One question remains in the corner of my mind: “Why my room, my geyser??”

To be continued…

Until Next Time,

Sista Safiye Kapoor